


But You're My Baby

by atributetotheclassicmovies



Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Humor, Kisses, M/M, Naughty!Napoleon, short fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 14:04:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11060538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atributetotheclassicmovies/pseuds/atributetotheclassicmovies
Summary: Illya wasn't exactly happy that Napoleon made him lost his communicator.





	But You're My Baby

“Anyway, it was all your fault.” Illya said as he took a sip of his wine. 

He was in an extremely bad mood, and everything tasted like shit, even though this was supposed to be his favorite wine. Napoleon pouted and looked at his boyfriend innocently. 

“Stop looking at me like that, Napoleon, you know very well what I was referring to!” Illya rolled his eyes and put down the wine glass. 

“What?” Napoleon bashed his eyelashes flirtatiously. 

This guy really was insufferable! 

“Waverly was angry at you because you lost your communicator?” 

“I did not lose it!” Illya's face turned slightly red while he angrily protested. 

Napoleon still had this innocent look on his face and Illya really, really wanted to slap him. 

Illya sighed heavily. “Fine, let me replay scene by scene what happened exactly for you.” 

Napoleon crossed his legs, and tilted his eyebrows. 

“Go ahead, baby.” 

Illya scorned at the nickname. 

“So we were in the car, I was driving, and you couldn’t keep your hands off me. I told you to stop, but you leaned in even further and started to kiss me,” He took a deep breath. Napoleon’s big, warm puppy eyes made him hard to concentrate. “I tried to push you away, then my communicator started to beep. I told you to help me reach it in my pocket, but all you did is keep pressing kisses on me…” Illya’s voice trailed off when the server brought them their meals. After seeing him left, Illya continued. “and in that chaotic state, I somehow dropped it…” 

“You didn’t like me kissing you?” Napoleon put a hand on his chest to show that he was deeply wounded. 

In that split moment, Illya almost gave in. 

Almost. 

“Was that all you have heard, Napoleon? Come on, it _was_ very dangerous, I was driving!!! We might have an accident or something!” 

“Nah, I don’t think so. You’re a good driver.” 

“Napoleon, I am serious. Besides, I don’t like making out in public.” He just kept staring at him with his deep brown eyes. “Oh, Napoleon, stop looking at me like that, you know what I mean.” 

“No.” 

Illya closed his eyes and sighed for he forgot how many times. It was really hard to be mad at Napoleon, but this was a serious matter that certainly needed to be addressed. So he tried to compose himself, yet accidentally knocked off his wine, and it went all over his trousers. 

“Shit!” Illya cursed lowly. “Going to clean this up.” He stood up and headed for the bathroom. 

Before he could even pick up the hand towel beside, Napoleon pushed open the bathroom door. 

“What are you doing here?” 

Napoleon didn’t say anything, but picked up the towel in Illya’s hand instead. He patted on an empty space beside the washbasin. 

“Maybe you should sit on here. It’ll be easier for me.” 

“Easier for what?” Illya cocked his head, but was too exhausted to make any further protests. 

Before he could move up, Napoleon lifted him up firmly by the waist. 

“Stop treating me like a baby, Napoleon, I can very much climb up here, thank you kindly.” 

“But you’re my baby, Illya.” 

Illya pouted, but didn’t deny it. What was it to deny, it was the truth anyhow. 

Napoleon cleaned him up, and his hands moved through Illya’s legs, gradually to his thigh, then moved up to his groin. Illya inhaled deeply. He felt Napoleon getting closer and closer to him. Illya closed his eyes and welcomed Napoleon’s mouth. Then Illya suddenly snapped open his eyes and gently pushed Napoleon off. 

“See, Napoleon? You are doing it again! We are in public!!” 

“But I don’t see anyone in here.” Napoleon looked around the bathroom innocently. 

“For god’s sake, Napoleon! We are in the restaurant’s bathroom! What if somebody walks in?” 

“Maybe we can make out in one of the cubicles?” Napoleon replied with a smirk. 

“No!” Illya jumped off and walked towards the door. “I’m going home.” 

“Oh no, you’re not!” 

Napoleon quickly blocked Illya’s way and trapped him in the corner. He then locked the bathroom’s main door. 

“Lucky they have a lock here.” Napoleon grinned widely. 

Illya shook his head. 

“Napoleon Solo, you’re the most shameless person I’ve ever seen!” 

He patted Illya’s cheek affectionately. “If you don’t have nice things to say, Illya, don’t say it.” Napoleon winked. 

“What should I do with you?” 

Napoleon kissed the tip of Illya’s nose. 

“Nothing, just let me love you.” 

Illya sighed and closed his eyes as Napoleon pressed his warm lips firmly on his.

 

The End <3


End file.
